Tag: Family

What is Love?

On By Mona SabahIn Advent, Bible, Jesus Christ, Uncategorized4 Comments

imageThe 2nd week of Advent is about Love. You would think that a woman who loves Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters’ novels, I would be able to write about love without a problem. Truth is that I have been struggling since Sunday about what to write. How do you narrow down the topic of love?

The Ancient Greeks had the right idea. They had multiple names for Love: Eros (sexual, passionate love – the kind most people who are dating are looking to find), Philia (deep friendship – like “Philadelphia: City of brotherly love”), Ludus (playful love – flirting or catching someone’s eyes and smiling at a private joke), Agape (selfless love – later translated to Caritas, Latin for Charity), Pragma (mature, long-standing love), and Philautia (self-love). Another word I found for love from the Greeks is Storge – parental love.

Maybe this is why I was having a hard time narrowing down this topic.

It’s interesting to me that the 2nd week in Advent asks us to be reminded of Christ’s love for us. John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” I have been thinking about this over-used verse. You see it at football games and just about on every Christian bumper sticker. What does it actually say? If we break down each part, we see:

*For God so LOVED the world: Why would God love the world? Well, for starters, he created it. He also created human beings in His image. We bear the likeness of God – how amazing is that? By the way, that’s ALL human beings. Not just ones who claim Christianity, but also those who turn away from it or hate it. He created us in love, with a capacity to love others and he also created us to have a choice to love Him back.

*… that he gave his one and only Son: He GAVE. God gives. God gives freely. He gives so freely that he was willing to give a part of his eternal trinity – the presence of God the Son to the broken down world. Again, WHY would God do that?

*…that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life: This is why. This is the reason why Christ came, lived, died, and rose again from the dead. So that he would conquer death, so that all who believe in him will have eternal life. No strings attached. No earning God’s favor, no waiting to be a better person or maybe if I didn’t do such and such. God wants you as you are, but he wants you to come to him of your own free will. We can only share the message of Christ in love. We cannot and should not beat people over the head with the love of Jesus! It doesn’t work that way.

There is a verse I love from 2 Cor 2:15~

For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.

Notice it doesn’t say “stench.” It’s that beautiful, lingering perfume that makes people say “hmmm… what was that?” or makes people want to know more and stay with you just a little longer. If you are the stench of Christ, you could do more damage that will take more to untangle and undo.

The aroma of Christ comes from living the Gospel – treating others with a self-less love, of serving, of going last in a line and not insisting on first dibs for things. It’s allowing someone to take a parking spot at the mall and not careening in, yelling things with your cross dangling from the rear-view mirror. This is not easy to do – especially with the Christmas mall rush. However, I think it’s in these small, daily things that Christ is revealed to others.

May the amazing LOVE of God’s sacrifice be true for you this week as you look towards celebrating the birth of Christ Jesus.

Unity out of Diversity ~ God’s Way

On By Mona SabahIn cultural diversity, culture, Diversity, Human Resources, Jesus Christ, Management, Public Speaking, Teaching

 

Last week, I talked about how diversity is looked at here in the United States. I think in order to understand the Unity piece of it, we need to go to the beginning. The VERY beginning, namely, Genesis. My husband and I were guests at the Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM) Founder’s Weekend Conference the past four days and author, apologist Amy Orr-Ewing spoke on the very topic. She stated that when God put forth the heavens and the earth in Genesis, He worked in pairs. He made the Heavens & the Earth, Darkness & Light, Day & Night, Land & Sea, the greater light to govern the day & the lesser light to govern the night, and finally, male & female (see Genesis 1). There is a natural pairing that God does, yet He makes them complementary. Just as the sun lights the day, the moon offers a gentle light at night. Even though they are different, they work together as one.

If you have a significant other, you can further see the diverse nature of man and woman in a relationship. When married, these differences can either make the marriage or break it. So diverse are we in our gender. Take for instance, the difference between my husband and I when it comes to packing for a trip. We used to take one suitcase when we were newlyweds (how stupid can you get?). Now, after 22 years of marriage, we take our own. It’s just better that way. It takes me at least a day or two to pack and even then I don’t feel like I bring enough stuff. I am constantly saying “Oh, I wish I would’ve packed XYZ.” There’s nothing like that for him. It takes him under one hour to pack and he’s good. We have a different way of looking at just about everything – from relationships, to child-rearing, communication, work, weather, and of course, maps & following directions.

Yet, there is something special about the way we work together. It is truly wonderful. One of the greatest blessings is when we end up with the same thoughts on things of importance. We tend to have the same values on religion (God has helped us in an amazing way), family (we had to learn more about each other here), and also how to use logical thought for problem solving. These are things add meaning to our marriage and help us to become one. The most important thing in our marriage, however, was to stop focusing on each other and instead to focus on God.

I think that is also the secret to understanding diversity – whether it’s in marriage or at work. If you focus on what God has designed and look at people for what gifts God has given them, you gain a fresh perspective that is tinged with excitement. I love asking people about what spiritual gifts they have. If you are a believer in Christ, the Holy Spirit has given YOU a gift. If you don’t know what it is, there are many spiritual gifts inventories you can take (try this one here)!

There is diversity in the way that God has made us and He did that because He can – what a glorious creativity! As we walked through the airport, I marveled at all the different types of people I walked past just in the terminal. So many features, skin color, backgrounds… it’s not boring to people-watch. Christ unites us, while the world tries to divide. The world wants to divide into categories: rich, poor, slave, master, Jew or Gentile.

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28

Yet, when He looks at us and calls us, He tells us to keep the unity of the Spirit. One body, One Spirit, One Hope, One Lord, One Faith, One Baptism, One God and the Father of all. This is true unity and only through that unity, do we keep the bond of PEACE. That bond of peace only comes through the Holy Spirit and the Prince of Peace, Lord Jesus. Amen.

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. Ephesians 4:3-6

How Can One Have “Careless” Trust?

On By Mona SabahIn Human Resources, Jesus Christ, Management, Mentor, Public Speaking, Training, Trust Leadership

Yesterday, I was doing training for a private company on the merits of Mentoring in the workplace. It seemed like every conversation led back to building trust. If you cannot trust your employer or co-workers, you will not have a productive workplace. In fact, it would be quite dysfunctional. In a study done by the founders of Airbnb (an online Craigslist type of site for renting out your home to complete strangers who are traveling), they found that in 1972, 46% of people said that others were generally trustworthy. Today, that number is down to 32%, resulting in a lower trust of everyone – from identity theft, to fraud, to organizational ethical situations like Enron and Sony Executive emails.

There’s no doubt then that employees don’t want to share personal information with others and make deeper connections. But that’s where things get lost. We complain about how management doesn’t understand my needs or lament about lack of communication. The complaining doesn’t stop there either. It trickles down into a lack of trust for your spouse or family relationships. Let’s face it: there is a strong correlation between personal growth and trust.

I love Focus on the Family’s article on building trust in a marriage. I think those rules also apply to the workplace. They said that the Hebrew word Batach (baw-takh’) means TRUST. Not just that, but it has more meanings: bold, careless, confident, secure. You can see the application in Psalm 91:2

I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

When the psalmist uses Trust here, he is speaking of being careless. This is literally without a care! When was the last time you were without a care or worry? Seems incredible, but that is what true trust means- when we can be at peace in our relationship and not worry that someone is going to talk behind our back or break a confidence at work. When we can trust our spouse to go on a business trip and not worry about them breaking  their vow of marriage, when we can trust that our children are really where they say they are with their friends.

I believe there is a formula for building trust. I call it “The Three C’s.”

Credibility

Confidentiality

Consistency

Credibility – speak the TRUTH. Some take this to mean blurt out what you are really thinking. Please don’t do that. We are called to speak the truth in LOVE (Eph 4:15).

Confidentiality-Keep your mouth shut. So difficult and tempting to share, but that sharing that seems harmless can turn into vicious gossip in about 20 minutes… And then come back around the office to bite you in the behind

Consistency – I had a boss once who was all over the place. She was sweet one day and sour the next. She would lavishly praise your talent and then tear you up for the same thing. It was stressful to be around her. You never knew what you were going to get from one day to the next. Being consistent means being fair. Give benefit of the doubt. Allow your relationship to flourish by building and encouraging, even while giving constructive criticism.

These are not easy to do, but then anything that’s worthwhile takes time. When you start trying to raise your awareness and practice trusting others, while building trust, you will find that you will become careless… In a good way!

Don’t Look DOWN!

On By Mona SabahIn Prayer

Our daughter learned how to ride her new bicycle yesterday. When you pray for Jesus’s eyes to see, you can’t help but see everything through the glasses He gives you.
My husband did something new with her. He first took the pedals off and had her scoot on the bike. Then he told her to try to scoot and lift off her feet so she could learn to balance the bike. Then, the next day, he put the pedals back on.

In the picture above, he was doing the thing that parents all over the world do, he was holding on and encouraging her to pedal. He kept saying “Don’t  look down, sweetie.”

Here’s where my Jesus glasses came into play. God, the Father, has said that to me before… In fact, I know He says that a lot to me! Just like my daughter, every time I look down or worse, at myself, I get wobbly and lose my balance. When I look up, I find the correct alignment for my life.

The neat thing is that even when I fall down, I’m not devastated because I know my Father is right behind me, cheering me on and encouraging me to look up.

Psalm 34:5 says those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed

When we look around at the world, we see darkness and confusion. In fact, you don’t have to go further than the news to see that.

When you look up to The Lord the Bible promises you His light, His joy and His peace.

Like riding a bike, in life, you’ve got to keep moving forward, keep your balance and look up.