Tag: Christian

Bridges, Balconies and Burqas

On By Mona SabahIn Business, conflict, cultural diversity, culture, Diversity, Human Resources, Jesus Christ, Muslim, Teaching, Trust Leadership, Uncategorized4 Comments

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There are always two sides to any story. What we don’t often see is that there is a third side to the story – the community and the observers to the two parties’ argument or conversation. Conflict at its most basic is merely a differing perspective. There isn’t anything wrong with seeing things differently. That is Diversity and it enriches our perspectives. Conflict is something that comes up where one or more parties cannot understand or recognize the other person’s perspective.

This is true for religion, the global situation and negotiations between nations, at our workplace and also in our families. When we feel personally threatened, there is a friction that can come up. The story behind the situation can get lost, while we focus only on our own gains, our own viewpoint and our own needs, the perspective begins to become lopsided.

Building a bridge involves a balanced approach. There are careful measurements and an overall vision that sets the stage for the process. In order to build, both sides need to be worked on at the same time so that they can meet delicately in the middle.

While I’ve never built a bridge (physical one, not metaphorically speaking), I have crocheted socks. How in the world can crocheting of a pair of socks look like building a bridge? They both need to be worked on at the same time, by someone from the outside. This is another way to look at conflicts and negotiation. Action of one entity upon two other entities = third side (or the third party) is not a new idea.

In psychology, the third side or perspective is called the “Mediating Variable.” It helps two things that seem to be linked together to be explained in a better way. In conflict negotiation or mediation, unless you have a third party involved that can help to explain the situation clearly and ask the right questions, it is very difficult to get to a suitable resolution. Authors Heifetz and Linsky have called this to be a “Balcony Perspective.” If you are one of the actors on the stage, it will be very difficult for you to see the whole picture because you only know your part and maybe the part of the person before you and after you so you can be cued in. However, if you choose instead to see the drama unfold from the balcony view, you will be able to not only understand what is going on in front of you but also what the others are doing in the background. The entire scene becomes crystal clear all of a sudden. The same is also true for conflict and negotiation.

So before you jump into a blame game or rush into judgment of a situation, STOP. Take a ladder and climb up to the balcony. Take a fresh perspective of the scene unfolding in front of you. You might just be able to see things you have never seen before or things you were taking for granted in your everyday rush to be heard and to be placed in the #1 seat.

In my walk with Christ, I have found that building bridges between my past and helping people to understand what it was like to grow up in an entirely different culture (Middle East & Asia), with a different religion (Islam), and different family values, there is a lot of ground to cover. There is great fear driven from the media that causes people to become angry towards a certain group. I have met several women who was moderately Christian at the time  (not really attending church regularly and couldn’t really say much about having a relationship with Christ), who told me that she was angered by  Muslims here in the United States and elsewhere.

As all of my family is Muslim, I could have immediately taken great offense at what she said – they have as much of a right to be here as he does, even if they were not born here, but are U.S. Citizens. After taking a deep breath (= going to the balcony), I asked her a few questions: How many Muslim people have you talked to here (answer: none), how many Muslim people have you tried to reach or build a relationship with so you could understand them better (answer: none), how do you know what they believe other than the media (answer: I am well-educated), and finally – why do you feel this way? The last question made her pause. I told him that my family would not feel the same about her, so what was going on? She answered in one word “FEAR.”

This is no different than what happens at work. We take a stand on something and get mad about it, without taking into account someone else’s underlying concerns or addressing the issues below the iceberg. Ninety percent of the time, you will find that the issue at the face of the situation is not the real issue. The real stuff is lying below what the person is saying to you.

Going back to another woman who was fearful, God had a very funny way of taking care of that situation. I hosted a baby shower for a Saudi woman who was new to the country. I didn’t even know who she was, but that a group of Christian women wanted to have a shower but the location fell through. I offered up our home and we had over 30 women attend. The guest of honor came to my front door with her entourage of 8 women- all dressed from head to toe in their black burqa (or hijab). My friend came out from the kitchen and I heard a sharp intake and gasp of a breath. I have to admit – it was kind of a scary sight to have people you don’t know who show up to your door and you cannot see their faces (kind of like Halloween, but not on Halloween…).

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As the women were ensured that no men would be in attendance, they started to take off their veils and covers. Underneath were these sweet-faced 18-20 year old girls dressed in cute trendy dresses, short hair, full make-up. So adorable! I could see a huge wide grin spread across my friend’s face. After the fun party, she and I got to talk. She had tears in her eyes because she felt like the Lord had taken her to a balcony to see a new perspective she would never have considered. What a JOY to have that perception and fear lifted off in one night. That is the way bridges are built…

May we seek ways to bring peace to our homes, families, workplaces, and nation in this way, for blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called children of God (Matthew 5:9). 

 

 

What is My Life Purpose?

On By Mona SabahIn Bible, Communication, culture, Family, Jesus Christ, Muslim, Uncategorized1 Comment

There are two questions I have seen people wrestle with: Who Am I? Why Am I Here? This is a common theme in the University classroom, in the business sector – especially in Human Resources or Management coaching, and in conversations around the teapot at my house. The world tells us things we should do everyday. Use this toothpaste for whiter teeth, drink this coffee to help sustain coffee plantations in South America, or wear these clothes so you can fit in with others.

I didn’t have these questions when I was growing up. Traditions in the Asian culture has parents make those decisions. They choose what school you will go to, which college you will attend, what professional degree program you will join and also who you are going to marry. It’s all planned out… nice and neat. You are told that you don’t have to worry about dating because they already have in mind a family who has a nice son. They tell you that you will probably end up making this much money because you will be a doctor, engineer or lawyer. This is not a bad thing, it’s just the way the Eastern part of the world sees things.

Of course, the problem with me was that I was NOT living in that part of the world! Even though my parents enrolled me in a college I didn’t want to go to, in a field I did not want to pursue – (they chose the school based on their Dentistry program, obviously dismissing the fact that I was scared of the Dentist). Much to my parents’ dismay, I changed my school to one that had a medical school and changed my intent from Dentistry to pre-med (I did keep my major in the Biological Sciences though, as a consolation prize). In other words, I didn’t do what I was supposed to do.

Things didn’t stop there. I ended up meeting my husband and we decided to marry. So, I didn’t go to the school they wanted, the profession they chose, and I disregarded the marriage future they chose for me, for I was to have an arranged marriage as my older sister did. After college, however, I settled in neatly to a job at Campbell Soup Company.

The first change came when the Vice President of Human Resources asked me what I wanted to do? Guess what… no one had EVER asked me that before. I was dumbfounded! I must have looked like an idiot because I told him that with my eyes open in surprise. He sat back in his chair and said “Well, have you ever thought about what you are good at or what you would like to do for work? Do you like what you are doing now?” For a person who loves to talk, I had nothing. I stared at him again. I did manage to ask him “What do you think I should do? I am willing to learn.” Apparently that was a good question because he had me look into Human Resources – a career that I adore and have done now for two decades.

None of this ever pointed to my spiritual life. This was just work and career related. Again, I was pretty clear on who I was as a Muslim (= God is the Master, you are a Slave) and what my purpose was (= to live a good life and do the five pillars so I could get into Heaven). I didn’t need to have a purpose. I just obeyed like I was supposed to… well, kind of.

I tried fasting, but would get major headaches. I tried praying five times a day, but it was really tough with holding down a full time job and two children at that time. So, even in that, I didn’t do what I was supposed to do.

What is someone’s purpose in life? Is it to get that degree?  Is it to get the next promotion or raise? Is it to get a bigger car or nicer house? Have you achieved your purpose when you have 2.5 children? I have done those things and even more (we have 3.0 kids!), but that has left me with wanting more. I really thought that getting a big home would truly satisfy me. The only thing it does is give me more rooms to clean. It sounds very ungrateful.But  I think that’s the TRUTH. I truly believe it is ungrateful to God to continue to want more than what He has provided for me. The promotions, career, home still didn’t tell me why I was created. What am I supposed to be doing? Is this all there is to life? You get in your nice car, go to your nice job, come back to your nice home and do that again over and over again?

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I think what leaves us flat is that the purpose of life has to be bigger than simply fulfilling our own desires. When you go to the Bible, you get a very clear answer for the purpose God created you. It’s in Isaiah 43:7 ~”Everyone who is called by My name, And whom I have created for My glory, Whom I have formed, even whom I have made…” This verse says we are created for one reason and one purpose: to glorify God in all we do. This seems a bit strange at first. Why shouldn’t I follow my own purpose? The answer is that you can, but by running after these transitional things, you will not be satisfied. If you look to others for your purpose, they may be contrary to your desires. If you get your purpose from doing things, you will get burned out because you are doing it on your own power and not on God’s provision for you.

I love the story of Jonah in the Bible (not just because of the whale). I love it because he chose to say “no” to God and insisted on doing his own thing. God gave him a clear purpose and marching assignment. Jonah ignored, turned away and ran off to do his own thing. THEN he got swallowed up by the whale.

It reminds me of when our oldest son was little. We would ask him to do something little like clean up his toys in his room. He said “No! I won’t do it” His refusal didn’t change our mind or outcome or anything else. It just added more time and drama to the thing we wanted and needed him to do. I think that’s how it is with us and God’s purpose. I think we sometimes know what God wants us to do and we say “No! I won’t do it” and run the other way. Other times, we try to do things on our own power like serving in the church or other ministry that we wanted to do (and not necessarily what God desired for us to do), and we burn out. We get swallowed up… just like Jonah.

So what should we do? For the Christian, purpose for our life can be narrowed down by asking God. Prayer is a wonderful way to start. It can be very simple, like “Lord, I will be obedient to your will and serve you in the way you have planned for me.” The next thing is to read and study His Word. God’s Word in the Bible is true and holy. It shines light into our life and brings comfort. God is really clear on how He has made you and what He thinks about you (see my post on Identity). Jesus told us “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” ~ Matthew 7:7. If we ask the Creator, you will be given what you are looking for. If you are searching for answers to other questions, you will find the answers in His Word. If you think that God has closed the door to reconciliation or to your dreams, knock on it. You will find that Jesus had already been standing there, patiently waiting for you.

Identity

On By Mona SabahIn Bible, cultural diversity, Family, Islam, Jesus Christ, LOVE, Muslim, Prayer, Uncategorized4 Comments

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picture of Saudi woman from Riyadh Times

About two years ago, Saudi Arabia passed a law that allowed women to have an identity card (see article from Riyadh Times). Why is that such a big deal? Prior to that, according to Quranic laws, women had to bring male acquaintances along with them to identify who they were. You see, women are not allowed to testify in court unless they have been identified and the only way they can do that is to have men establish their true identity for the judge. Of course, if the case was due to adultery or accusations of a sexual nature, women were reluctant to bring men (or might not be able to find a man who would vouch for them).

This is the predicament women find themselves in some countries. In the West, we have so many freedoms that we take them all for granted and don’t really give it another thought. If you want an identity card or driver’s license, you just go, pay a small fee and get it. No one questions you.

Yet, it is in the West that I find so many women struggle with their identity. I have women who come to me for Executive Coaching for work. These are women in high positions who don’t really know who they are. I also talk to stay at home moms who seem to have lost their way, teenagers who don’t understand which role they should play, how they should dress, which group would be most accepting of them. Why is that?

Society throws different ideas around of who women are (sexual objects, wife, mother, I am a goddess, hear me roar, etc) and I am convinced that the women’s lib movements caused more confusion by saying you can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. You don’t need to depend on anyone but yourself. Right after the movements of the 60’s and 70’s, the US saw divorce rates go through the roof. Women initiate 2/3 of the Divorces in the United States (see article for study). It doesn’t stop there. Harvard Health reported that the use of anti-depressants in the US has increased a whopping 400% since 1994. They estimate that 1 in 10 takes an anti-depressant… women’s lib isn’t really panning out to be the answer, is it?

So where is the answer? Both men and women search for their identity. We turn to others as if they have the answer for us. Chances are that they haven’t even figured it out themselves. The answer lies in the One who made us. Genesis 1:27 says that “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” In one of my favorite passages of Genesis 2:21-22, God creates Woman “21So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. 22The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.…” It’s interesting to note that Adam noticed that creation was not complete without a helper for him and even more interesting to see that Adam is put to sleep while God does “divine surgery” on him. We can infer from the passage that when Eve was created, she also was alone with God. Herein lies the secret to our identity. Not only were we created in God’s image and bear a stamp of his likeness, but we get a close-up view of how God feels about us when we spend time alone with Him.

I am most confused when I listen to the voices of the world “You should do this” “Why are you spending time on that?” or “You would be good at that.” These are well-meaning family and friends, but the One who really knows you before you were even born (Psalm 139) is the One you should turn to first to find out who you are and what you should be doing. When we establish our identity through others (“oh, she’s the pretty one” or “she’s a cut-throat business woman”), we continue on in our own insecurities and weaknesses.

It wasn’t until I met Christ that I found out who I was. I was looking towards my dad (whom I love dearly) to provide everything I needed in life. When I got married, I simply transferred all those expectations on to my husband (whom I love dearly). What a huge burden for him to bear! Christ says “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28. He didn’t say to give all your burdens and expectations and place them upon others to fulfill you. Yet, that’s what we do! We expect our boss to know what we need to be happy at work. We expect our spouse to know what makes us happy at home. We expect our children to know what makes us happy as parents. However, none is better equipped to bring you true JOY than the Lord.

God has invited us into a relationship with Him. Some of the words God uses to describe us are: Forgiven. Chosen. Redeemed. Holy. Beloved. Child. Heir. New Creation. Cleansed. Daughter. Glory of Man.

So when you find yourself saying:

I am worthless     REMEMBER: Matthew 6:26 ~Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

I am a failure     REMEMBER: Phil 4:13 ~I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

I am unlovable   REMEMBER: Romans 8:39 ~nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I have so much guilt   REMEMBER: Isaiah 43:25 ~I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.

I have nothing   REMEMBER: Phil 4:19 ~And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Don’t listen to the voices that accuse. Listen to the voice that gives life. God is the One who created us and He is our heavenly Father who loves us. This is your identity as one created in His image. You bear the fingerprints of God. If you get confused and find out that you have no plan or feelings of self-worth, turn to the scriptures for the truth of who you are and why you were created.

My prayer for you: Lord, thank you for creating me in your image. Help me to see myself and others with your eyes. Help me to not elevate myself over others or you and to not let myself be degraded by others opinions. I want to live in your light, as you are in the light. Amen.

Forgotten Art of Storytelling

On By Mona SabahIn Communication, cultural diversity, culture, Diversity, Family, Jesus Christ, Testimony, Uncategorized

f52160e9d05b76e7b8e7ec21206f46bdLet me tell you a story~ A handsome Rajah had a beautiful garden in which he planted fruit trees of all kinds. He hired gardeners to take care of each section and in a land that suffered from droughts, the Rajah’s garden was like a lush tropical paradise. There were benches where one could sit in the cool shade of the fig tree and many tree branches that bent down due to their heavy burden of fruit.

A pair of parrots happened to fly past this oasis and decided to perch upon the garden’s thick stone wall. As they talked to one another about the beautiful garden, the husband parrot’s mouth was watering as he looked at the beautiful mangoes on the trees. His wife, seeing him eye the fruit sang a song of warning to him “totaya, munmotaya tu rajah bagh na ja. Rajah bagh asah he, dainda payan la [parrot, parrot, don’t go to the Rajah’s garden. Rajah’s garden is like this, they will hang you].” They thought about the risk and flew away, however, desire got the best of them. The very next morning, driven by hunger and the aroma of the many fruit trees in the garden, they decided to approach again. They were quiet this time, but went closer to the trees. He looks at his wife who sings the warning to him again and this time, he sings back “totayee, munmotayee, main rajah bagh main jaoonga or aam laykay ahoon ga” [my sweet girl (parrot), I will go to the Rajah’s garden and will bring you back some mangoes]. He immediately flew and collected the ripest fruits. Later that afternoon, as they were sitting on the wall, enjoying their bounty, the servants came to collect the fruit. The Rajah desired to have the choicest mangoes. The servants panicked when they only saw green mangoes. As they looked from tree to tree, they spotted the parrots eating the fruit. They ran to tell the Rajah what happened.

The Rahah was outraged! He told the servants to immediately place a net and catch the offender. He was so angry that he said he would eat the bird alive. They caught the parrot quickly for he was still sitting there blissfully, enjoying his stolen fruit. They put the parrot into a dish and served it to the Rajah. The Rajah laughed as he ate the squawking parrot! The Rajah immediately has indigestion and the parrot seems to be flying in his stomach, still alive. The Rajah is indignant! He tells his servants that he wants the bird dead now and he asks them to wait with guns and daggers until the parrot comes out the other end.

The parrot was moving so much, that he came out quickly and as he emerged from the Rajah’s behind, the servants shot the Rajah in the rear. The parrot flew away. The Rajah sees that maybe the parrot was too clever for all of them and so he decides to punish his servants for not taking better care of the garden and of the outcome. The Rajah yells out to the flying parrot “Magical and clever parrot. Come and be in my court for you are wise and should counsel me in my kingdom.” The parrot, his wife, and their children come and live at the court where the parrot serves as the Rajah’s Vizier for years and years.

[old tale told by my great-grandmother, to my grandmother, to my mother, to me and now, to our children – originates from Bannu, Tribal area of west Pakistan]

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It’s not unusual to find my father at a party or gathering with a story ready to go. He is a wonderful storyteller and knows how to weave a fantastic story together. The most forgettable events can turn into a beautiful story in his hands. When my sisters and I were little, he used to tell us stories to charm us into eating, sleeping or even tidying up the house. He still has a story at hand for his grandchildren and even as teenagers, they find them as fascinating as I did.

I get my love for talking and telling stories from my dad. However, I do not know poetry from heart and I also mess up the details or endings. I watched an “I Love Lucy” episode once where Lucy messed up a humorous story’s punchline – I feel like that sometimes. Still, I think there is a value in telling a story.

In the United States, we find that we are given facts, statistics, and even small infomercials at times about all aspects of our lives – from work to family, from personal hygiene to what to eat. With the advent of Ted Talks on YouTube, 15-18 minutes seems to be all you need to get a message across to someone. Someone sitting down to tell a story doesn’t seem to be a common occurrence.

Sharing information through a story is an ancient way to communicate. Walls and barriers seem to be relaxed when someone says “Let me tell you a story…” We seem to visibly relax and ease into a conversation. It hearkens back  to settling into our comfortable pillow and blankets for a bedtime story. It puts us at ease.

It was no surprise to me when I read that Jesus spoke to his disciples in parables. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus used the most parables. Since Matthew wrote the book for the Jewish audience, he knew the heritage and history of sharing the word of God through a story. They were used to telling stories and passing them down through the generations. The same feeling of sitting down, relaxing and settling into a story was what Jesus was doing to the large crowds that gathered to listen to him. This is still a wonderful way to not just learn the Gospels but also to communicate and share them with people from other cultures. There is always a point to the story, key players (usually a good and evil) and also a desired behavior or outcome. The stories are interwoven beautifully and they capture our imagination.

A good story is one that draws the receiver in, makes them listen, allows them to learn and think or reflect on the teaching. Stories are softened lectures. They make a point that the reader has to think about and they may not even understand what the story was about right away. There are many layers to the story that allows us to ponder and unfold at a later time.

One of the most important thing we can do is to share our own personal story with others. You can simply start with how you were as a child, or how you met your spouse or how your parents met. Those are wonderful things to pass on to the future generations and shared with elaborate details. We have done this with our children and even drove them to the place where my husband and I met. We have shown them the place where we got married and had our first home. It’s important to set down your traditions, roots and stories so that the next generation has something to hold on to.

Just as I shared the strange tale of the parrots with my children, a story can become a link to the past, to traditions and culture. It is a legacy you give to your children. It is a special gift that can be passed on to their own family and if it is told with passion and emotion, it’s something they will think about as adults. As a Christian, it is a legacy of the way God has weaved your life together and has shown you and your family His blessings. For those who believe, this can be a powerful way to witness to others and to show God’s love to others.

So the next time someone asks about your faith or about what you believe, instead of giving them a lecture or sharing the latest statistics, allow them to relax and settle into a story of something Christ told in His parables or how those parables have related to your own life story. It will become as a memorable event and will also allow you to share your background, upbringing, family, culture or traditions and connect in a deeper way.

HospitaliTEA – Why Southern Hospitality is a Thing of the Past

On By Mona SabahIn cultural diversity, culture, Family, Jesus Christ, Uncategorized11 Comments

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Some of my earliest memories are of celebrating Eid in Saudi Arabia. We would put on our best clothes, grab sweets and small presents and go from house to house, celebrating with friends. The same traditions continued when I moved to Pakistan and to the United Arab Emirates. People were always coming and going from our home. It was a very warm and welcoming place. My mother, an impeccable hostess, always had hot tea, delicious snacks and beautiful china ready to go in case someone happened to drop by.

When we moved to the United States, however, these visits were far less frequent. Many Pakistanis came to our home from our community, but we really did not receive invitations to dine at American people’s homes. This sentiment is echoed by others who are foreigners or even are people of other ethnicity who live here.

When I bring it up to people, many look at me wistfully and then tell me that stopping by a friend’s home for a cup of tea went away in the 1950’s. It is old-fashioned and just not done anymore – kind of like writing in cursive or sending a letter with a stamp on it.

Those who know me, know that I have a love of all things old. I love Victorian England and all the things that go with it. I like the fussiness of proper manners, correct grammar, and the idea of long dresses with rows of buttons. I like the slower pace of life and even the old European tradition of calling cards and paying calls on friends. If I mention this out in public today, people tell me to go to Wal Mart to get a calling card (as if I am getting ready to call international long distance) or paying calls (no one even knows what it means to pay a call, other than your phone bill at the end of the month).

At my family’s home, there is a long-standing tradition of tea time at 4:00 pm. I have mentioned this in my post about the concept of time in other cultures. This is something I have held onto all my life. Even today, my friends know that around 4:00 pm, there I will be sitting at my kitchen table, drinking a cup of tea. I also know that around the same time daily, I can find my parents doing the same thing across the United States. It’s a tradition and it is so soothing – like a cool oasis in the middle of the desert.

Even when I worked full time, I would stop what I was doing and make a quick cup of tea at 4:00 pm. My co-workers began to join me  in this tradition because nearly everyone experiences a mid-day slump around that time. It makes the rest of the day go by exceedingly fast.

A cup of hot tea has a wonderful soothing property to it. There is nothing like making a little pause in the middle of one’s day to STOP everything and just take a small breather to drink tea. It is a refined tradition and one I love to pass on to my friends. I have had the chance to make real friendships, make a connection and share my home with many. Some of these people I have known for a long time. Others may be people I have just met once or twice.

People are generally surprised at the offer of coming over to my home for a spot of tea. I am met usually with a smile of surprise. It is much more common to get together at Starbucks or somewhere else. Hospitality, along with a cup of tea has also gone by the wayside. When I ask women why that is the case, many tell me that they feel pressure to have their home “just right.” With three children, I find myself wondering when that day might come! I don’t think we have had our home looking “just right” since the day we moved in. If I waited around for that very day, I shudder to think of all the beautiful conversations, the tears of sorrow, the new friendships and renewing of old friends I would have missed out on.

In the Bible, there is mention of hospitality being a part of the new church in Acts. In fact, there is a passage that I think of often “And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts… ~Acts 2:46“ So many Christians close off their homes to others, citing one reason after another. Even though I have entertained many people in our home, an invitation in return to come to other people’s homes is still sparse. Is it an indication  of some who are uncomfortable to see our personal life and  living space – to not be able to “come as you are.”

When you come to my home, you will see my daughter’s toys around the fireplace in our living room. You will sometimes see a pile of freshly washed laundry being sorted. You will see my jewelry tools and beads scattered about on the kitchen island. It’s not perfect, but then neither am I. I see this as a sort of ministry (yes, to have a messy home – not dirty, but messy!). I have had women tell me that seeing my house as it is makes them want to invite someone over and not have that pressure to have it looking like a model home.

If we keep wearing masks, we miss out on endless opportunities. There is something freeing about “come as you are.” There is something authentic about people seeing your home with dishes in the sink. There is something genuine about reaching across the table and sharing a plate of cookies with a steaming cup of hot tea. The Bible teaches Christians to open their homes as a sacrificial way to love others. It is such a simple way  to promote UNITY in the Church and is a wonderful way to build relationships for Evangelism.

May we be like the early church share our home with others. May we have open hearts, open doors and open invitations to others. May we comfort others as God comforts us. Amen.

P.S. Yes, consider this as an open invitation to join me at my house for a cup of tea!

Lost in Translation~A New Christian

On By Mona SabahIn culture, Jesus Christ, Muslim, Testimony, Uncategorized2 Comments

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If it’s not confusing enough to deal with the English language and its complexities, let’s throw another angle of confusion. Last week, I wrote about how complicated the English language can be to an immigrant. As I was pondering the confusion a brand new country and language can bring, I was also struck by how confusing it was to become a Christian. When people are “cradle Christians,” they seem to take things for granted. As someone new to the Faith, I had tons of questions and it seemed that no one really knew what the answers were.

When my whole family and I were baptized in January of 2007, we were met with great joy from our congregation. For me, however, it opened up a new world. A world that began with getting my own Bible, as none was provided for me. I went to Mardel’s (a Christian store) and began my search. After two hours and forty five minutes, I still did not understand why there were so many different versions of the Bible. I actually panicked because I thought “maybe the Quran was right – there are so many different variations of the Bible here!”

I didn’t realize that all those different Bibles were not variations in the message of the text, but different translations. They are not corrupt nor do they change the meaning or intent of the passage. There is an excellent research article written by James White for the Christian Research Institute, titled “Is your Modern Translation Corrupt?” Mr. White provides parallel passages that challenge those who say that the Bible has been corrupted over time (not just a claim made by Muslims, but others as well). I am impressed by how much research and critical thinking has gone into providing a Christian with multiple views on how a passage has been translated. When you have more than one look at a passage – doesn’t it add to the overall understanding of the passage (and not take away from it, as many claim)?

New International Version
Your word, LORD, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens. Psalm 119:89

New Living Translation
Your eternal word, O LORD, stands firm in heaven. Psalm 119:89

English Standard Version
Forever, O LORD, your word is firmly fixed in the heavens. Psalm 119:89

New American Standard Bible
Forever, O LORD, Your word is settled in heaven. Psalm 119:89

King James Bible
LAMED. For ever, O LORD, thy word is settled in heaven. Psalm 119:89

If you just look at the above, it is interesting how each of the translations say the same thing just in a different way. All reinforce the fact that the word of the Lord.

If all this was not confusing enough to the newcomer, there is also a host of “Christianese” that is tossed about. For example, during this time of year, the word “Lent” and how the 40 days from Ash Wednesday don’t really add up to 40 days until Good Friday. or  why the grammatically confusing “He is Risen” or other words that go with Christianity that end in  -ology: doxology, eschatology, etc. Then you have the other words that show up in the title of the Bible books like “Leviticus” and “Deuteronomy.” So strange! When I asked mature Christians about some of these terms, I ended up with looks of confusion on their part as well.

I think that the biggest thing a newcomer to the Christian faith brings is the hunger to learn all that we can about it! I wanted to know all these terms and not just accept them as “it’s just something we’ve always done.” There is a rich tradition in Christian history that allows us to question and even challenge what is presented to us. God gave us a brain to use – the deeper you get into His word, the more riches we find!

I hope you will consider some of these things and help a new Christian along in their faith. I hope that you will learn some of these things for yourself and also take a look at what you believe and WHY you believe it. If you ask God to help you with all these things, you will end up with a faith that is deep and wide.

A Song in the Desert

On By Mona SabahIn Advent, Bible, Jesus Christ, Prayer, Uncategorized12 Comments
A Song in the Desert – Mona’s First Christmas as

December in Saudi Arabia is like any other month. It does not stand apart, nor does it boast any major holidays. The only time of reverence for our Muslim family was during the months of Ramadan (usually in the summer) and then our favorite times of the year – celebrating Eid (either Eid al Adha [festival of the Sacrifice] or Eid al Fitr [festival of the breaking of fast or lesser Eid]). Neither of these events took place in December, so I was confused when my parents informed us that we needed to wear our nicest long dresses for a big party.

My father was a telecommunications engineer for the Saudi Telecom Company and my mother was a physician who was ahead of her time (female physician in Saudi Arabia in the 1970’s). My older sister and I were the only two children and we were very young. My sister was around 8-9 and I was 3-4 years old at the time. We had been raised in Saudi Arabia all our lives and were quite used to the desert and the call to prayer five times a day. Our lives rotated around the prayer call, along with the Muslim calendar.

Our whole family got dressed up in our fancy clothes and went to the Taif Intercontinental Hotel where  there was a special Christmas party that included several Diplomats from the British and American Embassy. I had never been to a Christmas party before. I really didn’t have a clue what Christmas was, except for what I had read in my Richie Rich and Archie comic books.

As the party got underway, the American band wanted people to sing Christmas Carols. Being in a Muslim nation, surrounded mostly by older people & Saudis, they were not getting any takers. My parents had given us a small electronic piano that had several auto-song tunes. Two of those were Christmas songs (I knew that, because the song book said they were) – Jingle Bells & Silent Night (only the first stanza, mind you!). At the urging of our parents, we got up to sing Jingle Bells. After rousing applause, we were asked to sing again. So we went to the only other song we knew: Silent Night.

Can you imagine the room? Can you imagine two little Muslim girls, singing about our precious Savior’s birth in the heartland of Islam? God had a marvelous way of forecasting His plans for me that evening. Little did I know that 31 years down the road, He would place a call into my life that could not be ignored or reasoned away. He not only moves in the lives of Muslims, but He places His divine truth upon all of our hearts in marvelous ways – yes, even through a song on a toy piano.

Now that I am a Christian, I know all the verses to Silent Night. May we raise our voices to God’s way, truth and light in Christ Jesus, our Lord & Savior. Amen.

Silent night, holy night,
Son of God, love’s pure light,
Radiant beams from
Thy holy face, with the dawn of redeeming grace,
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth,
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth.
Silent night, holy night, wondrous star, lend thy light;
With the angels let us sing,
Alleluia to our King.
Christ the Saviour is born,
Christ the Saviour is born.

What is Love?

On By Mona SabahIn Advent, Bible, Jesus Christ, Uncategorized4 Comments

imageThe 2nd week of Advent is about Love. You would think that a woman who loves Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters’ novels, I would be able to write about love without a problem. Truth is that I have been struggling since Sunday about what to write. How do you narrow down the topic of love?

The Ancient Greeks had the right idea. They had multiple names for Love: Eros (sexual, passionate love – the kind most people who are dating are looking to find), Philia (deep friendship – like “Philadelphia: City of brotherly love”), Ludus (playful love – flirting or catching someone’s eyes and smiling at a private joke), Agape (selfless love – later translated to Caritas, Latin for Charity), Pragma (mature, long-standing love), and Philautia (self-love). Another word I found for love from the Greeks is Storge – parental love.

Maybe this is why I was having a hard time narrowing down this topic.

It’s interesting to me that the 2nd week in Advent asks us to be reminded of Christ’s love for us. John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” I have been thinking about this over-used verse. You see it at football games and just about on every Christian bumper sticker. What does it actually say? If we break down each part, we see:

*For God so LOVED the world: Why would God love the world? Well, for starters, he created it. He also created human beings in His image. We bear the likeness of God – how amazing is that? By the way, that’s ALL human beings. Not just ones who claim Christianity, but also those who turn away from it or hate it. He created us in love, with a capacity to love others and he also created us to have a choice to love Him back.

*… that he gave his one and only Son: He GAVE. God gives. God gives freely. He gives so freely that he was willing to give a part of his eternal trinity – the presence of God the Son to the broken down world. Again, WHY would God do that?

*…that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life: This is why. This is the reason why Christ came, lived, died, and rose again from the dead. So that he would conquer death, so that all who believe in him will have eternal life. No strings attached. No earning God’s favor, no waiting to be a better person or maybe if I didn’t do such and such. God wants you as you are, but he wants you to come to him of your own free will. We can only share the message of Christ in love. We cannot and should not beat people over the head with the love of Jesus! It doesn’t work that way.

There is a verse I love from 2 Cor 2:15~

For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.

Notice it doesn’t say “stench.” It’s that beautiful, lingering perfume that makes people say “hmmm… what was that?” or makes people want to know more and stay with you just a little longer. If you are the stench of Christ, you could do more damage that will take more to untangle and undo.

The aroma of Christ comes from living the Gospel – treating others with a self-less love, of serving, of going last in a line and not insisting on first dibs for things. It’s allowing someone to take a parking spot at the mall and not careening in, yelling things with your cross dangling from the rear-view mirror. This is not easy to do – especially with the Christmas mall rush. However, I think it’s in these small, daily things that Christ is revealed to others.

May the amazing LOVE of God’s sacrifice be true for you this week as you look towards celebrating the birth of Christ Jesus.

What is HOPE?

On By Mona SabahIn Advent, Bible, Jesus Christ, Muslim, Testimony, Uncategorized

 

What is Hope?

What do we Hope for?

What happens if we lose Hope?

The first week of Advent revolves around Hope. Merriam Webster defines it as:

HOPE: to want something to happen or be true and think that it could happen or be true

Frankly, this is a strange definition. For me, hope is the blessing of a new day. It’s the love of a family and the presence of peace in my home. It’s knowing that no matter what, with God’s help, all will be well- even if everything in my life is topsy-turvy.

When I became a new Christian, the hope I found in Christ was like nothing I had experienced. For this reason in the Bible, hope is mentioned in conjunction with God. There are several verses that talk about the hope we have in Christ. We are called to one body, one Spirit, one Hope (Eph 4:4). Faith is also linked to Hope. Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance of what we do not see (Heb 11:1).

As a Muslim, I did have hope. It was set squarely in my own abilities and in my parents. I believed that my own good works and the good reputation of my family would be enough to carry me along my whole life. Very quickly, that deteriorated. I realized that was a childish attitude and that I had more desire to fulfill my own selfish needs than to help others. I still believed I was a good person, because I didn’t understand God’s absolute holy nature and that I could not earn my way into His favor.  Throwing some change into the red Salvation Army bucket solidified the thought that I was such a nice person.  I chose to place all the hope I had in myself.

As an immigrant, the American Dream played right into my hopes and those of my parents. This is a country like no other. If you try hard enough, you can make your own future, your own piece of heaven, your own peace and freedom. As a driven person, I almost burnt myself out on my career. I created competition between my husband and I (my career is better than yours) and I ignored the needs of my children. At the same time, I was raising quickly up the corporate ladder. I was loved and adored at work but at home, I had a great deal of sadness. My hopes and dreams were being fulfilled but there was an empty void. This wasn’t quite what I had envisioned. Maybe if I had more titles, money, prestige, I would be better.

It took me several more years until I realized that hope shouldn’t be in myself or in others. When I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior, there was an immediate sense of relief. God wants you drop your burdens at His feet and to come to him as you are. You don’t have to wait until you are an executive, or until you have met certain goals or a rank. In fact, he says “blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth (Matt 5:5).” That is so backwards from what the world says. I think that’s why it stays in your brain as a kernel of truth that distrupts thought.

So it makes sense that the first week of Advent is to light the candle of HOPE. It belongs to Christ. We cannot lose it when he holds it secure. We can run to him for the hope that shines like a beacon in the dark. Hope beckons us in turbulent times, when the waves of life come crashing down upon us causing us to slip and be tossed about on waves like infants(Eph 4:14).

Have you  lost hope? Have you looked for for it? Have you found it in Christ? This is the time when we can confidently approach the throne of God and find all our hopes and dreams at Jesus Christ’s feet, for our treasures are stored up in heaven.
~We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain… Hebrews 6:19

 

Pot Pies and Clogged Pipes

On By Mona SabahIn Family, Jesus Christ, Prayer, Uncategorized

My sweet mother-in-law is hosting all of us for Thanksgiving tomorrow. We got a harried phone call tonight that relayed to us that we may not have a Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. Well, we may have one, but it will be somewhat of a mess as the sink is not working after they put a pot pie in the drain. Not sure if the pot pie did it or if it may have been something more sinister. Bottom line was that it did not bode well and not much thanks was being given over the state of the impending family dinner.

During the call, it was evident that all sorts of things had already been tried. It was out of their hands and possibly into the hands of a plumber who may or may not show up.  When my mother-in-law asked towards the end of the call for us to pray, I felt that maybe we should go ahead and pray immediately. Some people may think that is ridiculous! That God has other more important things going on in the world than to contend with clogged pipes at the Earnest home, but I beg to differ. God is our Father and for pipe problems, I always went to my own dad. God is interested in the details of our lives. He Himself knows every hair on our head (Psalm 139). He says to bring all things to him.

My “Paul” was named Cindy. When I became a Christian, she helped me to understand our relationship with God and also how He cares about us as His children. We were at Hancock fabrics and I was to sew some curtains for her dining room. We had two lovely Waverly fabrics to choose from and neither of us could decide. So, she said “let’s pray.” Right there at Hancocks. Right in front of the fabric. She had already grabbed my hands and closed her eyes when I interrupted her with a laugh. “I don’t think God is going to drop everything and help us make a fabric decision! He has other things going on, like famine in Africa and peace in the Middle East.” Undeterred, she shined a benevolent smile on me and said “Mona, if you cannot trust God with the little things in your life, how will you trust Him with the big things?”

I am not often left speechless… I immediately bowed my head and we prayed fervently for the Elass family curtains. Turns out that He did help Cindy choose the most beautiful fabric. The curtains were perfect – just as the important lesson I learned about my perfect Father’s most perfect character. If we don’t trust Him in the little, we will not turn to Him in the big.

So tonight, I was reminded of the lesson I learned eight years ago at Hancocks and thus we prayed fervently for the sink. Right after my mother-in-law and I prayed, the plumber showed up. About an hour later, the sink was fixed and dinner is on again.

I thank God for all the things He  provides, including opportunities to daily strengthen our faith in Him as the loving Father who provides plumbers and curtains.

Lord, we thank you for the blessings you provide daily and for the people you place in our lives. We thank you for the blessings of today and those you will pour on us tomorrow. In all things, with prayer and thanksgiving, we turn to you. Amen.