Category: Teaching

Bring Easy Balance to LIFE & Work

On By Mona SabahIn Business, Communication, culture, Diversity, Family, Human Resources, Teaching, Training, Trust Leadership, Uncategorized

 

The Coca Cola Company published an article about what “Work/Life Balance” might mean today. There is a shifting trend going on with Millennials (those born between 1982 & 2004). The way work is viewed varies from generation to generation. With the advent of technology, those lines are blurred even more. Just last night, before going to bed, I had a meeting request from someone – there are no real set office hours anymore. People can send meeting requests, texts, e-mails when on vacation, on the weekends or in my case, at night before bed.

This is what gets the younger generation up in arms. If I am working at night on a project, or am logging on to do work-related  stuff, then why can’t I take an extra long lunch or come in a bit later in the morning (after all, I was working on your project)? When the traditionalists see office hours as 9:00 am to 5:00 pm, it’s a valid argument. Work is being done at different times of the day – so why shouldn’t there be flexibility during the 9 to 5 hours?

For those of us who have heard the term “Work/Life Balance” for at least a few decades now, still scratch our heads to see how it actually gets balanced out. For me, personally, it means making sure I am there when I need to be and everything in my personal life takes a back seat. That is NOT the case today. If there is flexibility in the time that you can do your work (and I am talking mainly of a desk job, with a computer that can be accessed from anywhere) then you should be able to do work at 3:00 am if you want to and take off from the office for a 3:00 pm Parent-Teacher conference.

PERCEPTIONS

Why is there such resistance to this flexible time notion? Doesn’t it mean that employees could possibly be working more if they are logging on at all hours of the day? According to the Coca Cola article, it’s about priorities and a seeming lack of respect. “I gotta leave” is the comment and there is no request “Hey, could I schedule an afternoon appointment with my child’s teacher or with my chiropractor or could I take a golf lesson?” Many of the Boomer generation did these things on their own time, especially the exercise or golf lesson part. To even think of doing something like that during the workday is unimaginable.

The bottom line is productivity. If Millennials are focused on the outcome of the project, they don’t care how many hours are spent on it – even if they are working into the night. In fact, many of the Millennials I have spoken to are more productive at night, actually preferring the peace and quiet instead of the morning hours when everyone is showing up to the office. The implication here is to take another look at how we view work.

WORK

We were made to work. In Genesis 2:15, God gave Adam a garden to work – even in a perfect setting, he was given something to do. After the Fall (Genesis 3:17-19), Adam was still going to work, except that it was going to require the sweat of his brow. WORK is not a dirty, four-letter word (okay, so it IS a four-letter word, but you know what I mean). It is something that gives both men and women a feeling of accomplishment and also for some, it is their identity. It is something that is a blessing on us that we are able to use the gifts to produce or make something.

If we look at work in this manner, it is appropriate to conclude that if the end-result is what’s desired, then the hours you spend upon it shouldn’t matter. I cannot tell you how many times at the workplace I have found people chatting it up in the break room, the smoke area outside or by the coffee machine. How many people linger on after meetings for 10-15 minutes, catching up on the weekend or the ball game? There is time being wasted at the office but no one seems to mind, as long as you show up. If someone is accessible and is working from home, then what’s the problem?

pink-work-is-supposed-to-sustain-your-life-not-replace-it-badge-1
image from Forbes.com – liz ryan

Social media also blurs the lines between work and personal life. Millennials have grown up with social media and are often the first to know details about a new hire. This gives insight to how they wish to work. It is next to impossible to block out your personal life and not bring it to work, especially if there are big things going on that impact your work. The idea to have a workplace that accepts the fact that you have a vibrant life outside of work, that you CAN bring your laptop to the coffee shop and work there as well as the office, to know that when there is an important meeting, you will be present – but when there isn’t a mandate to be at the office, you might go and do some volunteer work… all those might be the new way to see how the office day might be changing.

In addition, the modern work space has also changed. People don’t need large offices, or even desks. Many are choosing to share space where they plug in their computer and get to work. This is a generation that has grown up on the soccer fields and Starbucks. They are used to working in teams. They are okay with not having a corner office.

By taking a fresh look at the use of time during the weekday, we can actually invigorate the work day. The re-defined work day can actually go to after hours, into the night and even past midnight. Creativity and productivity don’t have to be limited to the office area and to the desk or cubicle. Instead of separating out our life from work, we can bring new approaches, fresh ideas and yes, life to work.

Lost in Translation

On By Mona SabahIn Communication, cultural diversity, culture, Diversity, Human Resources, Management, Public Speaking, Teaching, Training, Uncategorized1 Comment

 

It’s not a secret that the English language is hard to grasp. There are grammar rules that differ from the other Latin languages, idioms, cultural variances, and top of all that, there are words with multiple meanings. Right after the attacks of 9/11, my poor father received a notice on his email that it had been monitored and that he needed to explain what his involvement was in a “plot in Pakistan to bring money over to the United States to fund the three in his charge.” Sounds incredibly suspicious doesn’t it?

My dad didn’t know if he should get mad or laugh. The word “PLOT” can have multiple meanings. One is to scheme or plan as in “a plot to topple the king,” which even the Merriam Webster online dictionary doesn’t even use. Another is used by farmers to designate parcels of land for a purpose. Third is used by authors to design a series of events that are critical to their writing, such as the main plot of a book. Fourth is to chart lines, as in plotting a course or to plot coordinates for a straight line. Last is to designate a parcel of land for usage as a unit, usually for real estate purpose. It was this last definition he was using in his e-mail. He had purchased a plot of land a long time ago in Pakistan that had three sections as an investment for his three daughters. These are the three in his charge.

I don’t disagree that it was probably not the best time to leave out details of the “three in his charge” or to use the word “plot” instead of land, but one can easily see how our communication can easily take a wrong turn, especially during emotionally charged situations. The word “run” is similar in its multiple meanings, except that instead of four or five meanings, it has a whopping 177 definitions!

When I teach business communication, it is usually to native English speakers. English was my second, almost third language (I was taught Arabic, English and Urdu almost simultaneously when I was little, living in Saudi Arabia). I try to stress the importance of why we have issues in talking with one another especially in culturally diverse settings. If you add non-verbal (body language), tone, inflection, listening, written (e-mails, text, Instant Messaging), and slang or jargon into the mix, it is an absolute wonder we can understand one another at all!

With the English language changing all the time, communication becomes more difficult even for native speakers. Consider for example, the new speak that the Millennials and Generation Z (yes, we are on the last letter of the alphabet now) are using in texting. If you don’t know what “totes” means (no, not the ones you store or carry stuff in), then you might not understand some of the messages that are being thrown around out there on social media (like, totes cray). There is an article by the Washington Post that just came out in January that addresses the new way to speak. You might want to check it out if you are over the age of 40 – no offense, but just want everyone to be on fleek (yes, that’s a new word too – just not in the dictionary yet).

To help foster good communication, whether it’s with your spouse, teenager or co-worker, we have to start somewhere. Here are a few things to consider from the authors of Crucial Conversations on Stereotypes, Distrust & Bias:

Focus on the Facts. We tend to jump in with an emotional appeal and don’t look critically at the facts surrounding the situation.

Examine the Story. Re-examine the conclusions drawn from the facts. Again, emotions can color the situation and make it seem amplified when it’s really a small issue or something that was overlooked by the other party.

Visibility and Exposure. Reconsider your initial views, and to be open to new information.

Own the Problem. No blaming. Taking accountability for actions is critical for both sides

Follow Up. Sometimes we walk away, thinking things are resolved, but it may just be the other person agreeing to something so the situation will just go away. It is important to follow-up not just for clarity in communication, but also to review and reinforce the relationship.

By doing the suggestions above, we will not only clarify misunderstandings but will be able to lead by example to make a foundation of trust with the other person. Misunderstandings can get cleared up in a new way, with new information that you may not have known about that individual’s background or a different way of speaking.

As for my dad, he is still plotting the course with consideration to the sale of his plot so he can plot another chapter of language communication issues with e-mails…

 

Lottery – A Perspective on Decision Making

On By Mona SabahIn Human Resources, Jesus Christ, Management, Teaching, Trust Leadership4 Comments

The Lottery was the big topic on Thursday morning and I was doing Corporate Training for a business here in OKC. The participants were even talking about it as I walked in the door. The payout of 1.2 Billion dollars was just inconceivable to me and it reminded me of this decision making example. On the way to training, I was listening to a Christian radio station. It really irritated me that they were ALSO talking about the lottery in the morning. For some reason, I continued to listen and they did something very interesting: They interviewed “regular Joe’s” on the street about what they would do if they won the Lottery. Their answers were pretty much the expected: buy a new car, a new house, etc. One man even said that he would buy a yacht. When the interviewer asked why, he answered “why not?!”

Then they interviewed HOMELESS people. They went out and asked what they would do if they won. The answers got me really choked up! One man said that he would first feed as many people as he could – like a big party for all who were on the street. Then he said he would donate money to some of the organizations that were out there feeding other people like him. He would of course, buy a home and get himself off the street so he could help others get homes to do the same.

The next man said that he would instantly help some of his friends who were living on the streets. He said that most of his money would be donated to the churches that were down in that area who had helped him personally. When the interviewer asked him if he would buy a yacht, he said “What? Why would I do that? A yacht never helped nobody.”

I wanted to talk about this because problem solving and how we make decisions are not done in a vacuum. There are outside influences that shape each and every decision we make. For example, I had everything taken away from me when we moved to the United States – not because my parents were mean, but only because we were moving across continents and could only bring 6 suitcases with us! It was quite terrible for a girl of 10.  Today, I still have a problem letting go of stuff. The only thing that saves me is JESUS telling us to not store things on earth but to store up treasures in heaven (Matthew 6:19-20).

19“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20“But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal…

In addition,  I am blessed by the knowledge that all things come to me from God and that I need to give them away. Giving gifts is something that I DO love, so I will accumulate and then one day, go to the Veterans Administration or Cancer Center and give them 20 new crocheted hats or jewelry or pajamas and socks or something like that.

There are reasons deeper than the workplace (or church or soccer team) that can come into play. I think we have to be mindful of that when we see others having control issues or when they hold on to a project or concept and even get angry when you suggest any type of change! It doesn’t always have to revolve around you – they may not be angry or upset at you, but at what that decision may represent for them (letting go of control, insecurity in their personality, or even abuse in the past).

I think  there’s a great lesson to be learned in all this – when you make decisions, you can either choose to look at them as they impact you OR you can choose to look out first and see how they impact others.

LeadHERship – Women as Mentors & Leaders

On By Mona SabahIn Diversity, Human Resources, Jesus Christ, Management, Mentor, Teaching, Training, Trust Leadership, Uncategorized8 Comments

 

What’s the deal with women in power? As a young, driven woman who was just starting out her career,  I made many mistakes and let power get to my head. Some mistakes were small and others could have impacted or even curtailed my career, like the error of not following chain of command in a traditional organization like Campbell Soup Company. Fortunately for me, I had a kind and generous mentor named Chuck Hatz who was able to step in and guide me through management pitfalls.

As I look back on that experience, I realize that not many are blessed to have another give them advice on how to maneuver or even advance on the corporate ladder. In fact, I realized slowly that the ones who were the least helpful in my career path were WOMEN. Before I heap accusations on those women who did not mentor me or even lend a kind word of encouragement, I need to look at my own actions as a manager as well.

When I joined the management ranks, I was a supervisor. I worked mainly with two men, so things were good. When the opportunity to rise higher into a manager’s position, however, the battle lines were drawn and I quickly found out that I didn’t have many friends. In fact, most of my competition were women of equal rank. It was cut throat. I found out after I got the position mainly due to my education, that a woman closest to me had said something personal and derogatory about me to the VP. He thought it to be unprofessional (especially in Human Resources), so he did not even consider her for the position. Her desire to hurt me ended up getting her booted out.

This woman was a colleague. She was someone I had lunch with on a regular basis, so it didn’t rest easy with me. It was around this time that I had been looking at Japanese management traditions of Kaizen (collaborative management) and found that before making any big decision or doing problem solving, they went to their peers individually and got input. I thought that to be a huge waste of time! Why do that when I knew what needed to be done and go do it?

This very thing turned out to be the key in why women were not getting the larger promotions and why there seemed to be a general lack of trust among us. No one wanted to consult with another. All of us were very competitive and sabotaging the other’s efforts. In an attempt to be noticed by Executive management (=men), we were setting each other up for failure and being petty. What an eye-opener for me.

As an HR manager, I knew I could personally do something to change this. Using collaboration and not competition as my incentive, I set about asking the other female management their input on ideas and projects. I was immediately met with distrust, criticism and even sarcasm – what, is this job too difficult for you, that you need to ask for help?

Fortunately, not all of my peers were like this. I found a lifelong friend in Christine who was kind and helpful to me. In addition, I had women in my department who were caring and driven to help others. We formed a small but close-knit team. The easy collaboration in HR training began to be evident as we shared leadership roles. There was a desire to help one another and to share our strengths as a team.Other women began to look to this team as an outreach and support within the organization. Several women began to gain promotions and opportunities to excel, including me.

I share all this to make a point. Until women begin to set aside the competitive nature of business and our own prejudices against other women (she’s not career-minded her clothes are not right, etc), we are not going to be looked at as serious contenders for executive level positions. Women do not have to set aside our feminine qualities of being able to talk to one another, to empathize, to nurture relationships in order to get ahead. We don’t have to be so driven that we get a calloused edge that doesn’t take others into account. In a culture that feeds the “me, me, me” ego, climbing the corporate ladder means stepping on other women’s heads in order to see our own star rise.

As a Christian, this is made even more clear to me by Jesus Christ’s teachings, especially when he said “So the last shall be first, and the first last ” Matthew 20:16. That doesn’t leave much room for corporate ambition, does it? What one doesn’t realize right away is the blessing you get from helping others and putting your desires off for a minute or two. Getting promotions was nice (I won’t lie!) but it wasn’t nice to not have a peer to peer network of women you could trust. Getting recognition was nice, but I didn’t realize that it meant that I took it from others and gave no one else credit. When we started sharing and helping one another, we began to celebrate each other’s contributions and victories. Our enthusiasm, relationships and strength multiplied.

Bill Gates said that “As we look ahead to the next century, LEADERS will be those who EMPOWER others.” So what steps can we take today to help those around us? This Forbes article gives a great list of strengths women have that naturally lend themselves to helping others. In addition, I have a few to add that can apply to both men and women:

  1. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Look for opportunities to help fill the gap.

  2. Ask for the worst assignment. Your colleagues will thank you (& think you’re nuts!) and your bosses will appreciate you.

  3. Be willing to help not only at work, but outside work. When you see your co-worker as a mom, wife, daughter, or in a different role, you will gain respect and learn to set aside any prejudice you may have formed against them.

  4. Pray for them and for yourself to be placed in situations where you have to serve others.

We need to build each other up – both men and women. When you break others down, you get torn down right beside them. There is collateral damage. The true hallmark of a leader is when you help to develop others’ skills and strengthen them. Along the way, your own skills will be strengthened, built and sharpened.

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

Why Happiness is so Elusive

On By Mona SabahIn Bible, cultural diversity, culture, Human Resources, Jesus Christ, Management, Public Speaking, Teaching, Training, Trust Leadership, Uncategorized

In the Undergraduate Business class I am teaching this week, as well as in a training seminar on Stress & Time Management last Thursday, the theme of “Happiness in the Workplace” kept coming up. There are so many things out there that are telling us as individuals to be HAPPY – in the 80’s, the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” sparked a whole marketing array of T-shirts with smiley faces that reminded us to be happy. Pharrell Williams’ song is so HAPPY that I cannot listen to it without wanting to dance! 🙂
The more I ponder this, the more I think that much of that has spilled into the workplace. Leaders and Managers somehow believe that they are solely responsible for the “Happiness” state of their employees and that there should be a general feeling of well-being at the workplace. Employers are also convinced that if their company is not making them happy, maybe they should leave.

Where did this idea come from and is it something that can be achieved?

There are many companies out there that state they love their employees and put them first. I think this is not a bad place to start. Disney is simply amazing in this category of employee well-being! They even have a book called “Inside the Magic Kingdom” and it shares some of the things that they tell their employees to do in order to help make the customers happy. One of the most interesting parts of this book is where they explain to their employees that the whole park is a stage and they are simply characters playing a part. So, if you are a Disney Street Sweeper, you are playing the part of the Street Sweeper and you must do that well!

I have a friend who took her family to Disney World a few years ago. I got so tickled from the story she told me when they got back. While at Epcot Center in France, her elderly mother-in-law asked the Princess Belle from Beauty and the Beast “Where are you from?”  She dutifully answered “I grew up in  a small village in France.” Then, the grandmother said, “you are so very beautiful, is your family here now?” She gave the answers from Beauty & the Beast, about how her father, Maurice was an inventor and he was sent to prison for no reason at all; how she loves to read books and how she ended up at a large estate (the Beast’s) – the grandma never caught onto the fake movie answers… she simply believed it!

I think there might be something to that approach Disney takes. Belle cannot have a bad day (well, she can, but she has an important job to do). If you have your employees, especially those in Customer Service take on a role, they may see things a bit differently. For example, every time I go to teach or train, life is not always rainbows, roses and sunshine! I have had to go into some very tense situations at work. You cannot just bring your own junk to the party. You have to address what is going on and cope with today’s issues.  So, I play the role that I was hired to play that day- as a trainer, teacher and motivator. I have to deal with what I am supposed to be doing that day. Jesus had a saying for that…

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own ~Matthew 6:34

Think about this… if you could just deal with what’s in front of you (instead of going on a flight of fancy for all the other things that you need to get done that week), I think your attitude might be a bit different. A friend once told me that she heard someone ask “What if tomorrow, you would only get the things that you were thankful for today?” Yikes! Did I thank God for my health, my home, my marriage, children, my job, shoes (yes, lots of them!), food, bank account, car…? What if we take just a moment out to think of all the things we should be HAPPY about and not dwell on the negative? Glass half-full is not just a philosophy, but is a commitment to CHOOSE one thought over another. It is known as Cognitive Behavior Therapy in the Psychological world. In the Bible, it’s known as 2 Cor 10:5

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ ~ 2 Corinthians 10:5 [emphasis added]

When will we learn that our thoughts and negative thinking can multiply and poison not only our minds, but of others around us? How about weeding out that negative thought in the mind as it sprouts forward, not allowing it to grow and take over the flower bed? If you do take those thoughts captive, not only will you find happiness, but also JOY – that is a more permanent state of the fleeting happiness we see daily. JOY comes from a deeper place, a calm and restful place that says “It is well with my soul.”

 

 

Why is there Suffering?

On By Mona SabahIn Human Resources, Jesus Christ, Management, Prayer, Teaching, Testimony

 

What a question~ especially with the Paris Attacks on Friday. My husband and I were on a plane back from Florida and the RZIM conference that I mentioned in my post a few weeks ago. I love being on an airplane – not because of the joy of the ride, but it’s mainly because the person next to me is a captive audience the moment they buckle up their seat belt. I wait for that little click and it’s my cue to be on. So, I do what I normally do in any HR interview… I ask them questions about themselves. People love talking about themselves and frankly, I love to listen to them talk. You find out the most amazing things and then there are those things you would’ve rather not known. The same is true for any HR interview – it’s that little question at the end “So, is there anything else you would like to tell us about yourself?”

On an airplane, things are not that formal. I usually start off with “are you going somewhere or coming back home?” I can also gauge how open or closed that person is to talking when they pop their pesky little earbuds back into their ears. But that does not stop me. I am kind of persistent (ask my husband! Ha!). I ask other things like – do you have a dog waiting for you or family?

So, on this flight from Atlanta (connected from Florida) to OKC, I got the middle (which I love!) and Stephen got the aisle (which he loves). This young man got the window. He was in good spirits about it and thanked me for not being 6’5″ and 350 pounds. It was a good start. I asked him the usual stuff and found out that he was an Engineer for NASA… not joke. I was sitting next to a Rocket Scientist. We talked for almost an hour (it was an hour & a half flight) about Engineering (our son, Jacob is in his first semester at OC in Engineering) and how wonderful it was for him to do Thermonuclear Engineering for Space Craft.

About 50 minutes into this conversation, I prayed in my heart “Lord Jesus, I want to share about you, but how do I bring you into Thermodynamics at NASA?” I’m not sure how, but I asked him something along the lines of “you’ve told me about how awesome your job is, but what about your personal life. Where do you find your HOPE?” He paused for a second and said “in people.” The minute he said that, he made a face. I smiled and said “Wow! For a smart guy, that’s not the best, most secure place to put your hope.” He then said that he wasn’t sure if he bought into the “religion stuff.” I think I surprised him by telling him that Jesus didn’t like the religious people of his day either. In fact, he called them “Hypocrites.” Jesus doesn’t want rule-followers. He wants a relationship based on LOVE.

 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.  In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. ~Matthew 23:27-28

In fact, in the Matthew passage above, there were 7 woes to the Pharisees (see Matthew 23:13-39). He was surprised to hear me say that. In fact, he told me that no one had ever told him that before. The next thing out of his mouth was the question above “If God is so good, WHY IS THERE SUFFERING?” Having come straight from the RZIM four day conference, I felt prepared to answer that. One of the things a speaker (cannot remember who) said was that when RZIM teaches apologetics (defending the Christian Faith) was to look for the question that was underlying the main question. What the young man really was asking is “Why am I suffering?“

Because God doesn’t waste anything, I was able to answer the question based on my scientific education (Bachelors of Science in Microbiology, Minor in Chemistry… don’t even ask me). I said “To answer that question, let’s take a look at what you do for NASA. You calculate and design systems that deal with the impact of heat within a vessel. Even in a perfect laboratory setting, you will have breakdown of matter and heat will escape, right? Well, how is this world any different? The Lord created all things and He deemed them as being “good.” When sin entered the garden, it brought degradation and a breakdown of the perfect system. This world is broken. That’s why your experiments should work out in theory, but when you put them into the physical world, they break down. Man is not a perfect entity. Man is broken. We have to be saved from something outside of us. We cannot be the HOPE. Only Christ can. He was the only one who was perfect and sinless.

In your experiments, you have a standard, right? You even told me that you do validation of data for other vendors who contract with NASA. Where did that standard come from? What if the vendors told you that they would use their own data to tell you if their work was okay, instead of using your standards. Would that work?” He said “No way, that wouldn’t even work!” “So, in the same way, we Christians look outside of the world to find the standards for everything – if we create our own basis for ethics and morality, what is real and what is truth, it will not be a consistent measure. Just as one vendor would tell you one thing, the other will make his data fit his own measure as well.”

I also thought it was a good time to ask the other question. So I asked him point blank “Are you suffering?” He immediately got tears in his eyes and looked away. He told me that his dad died suddenly while he was in his Master’s program. He said that he was not even done with grieving yet and that he chose to ignore it, but it wasn’t going away. He could not come to terms with it. I told him about Jesus, the suffering servant. The only one who could know what this young man was going through. I told him about the Loving Father God, who gave up his son and who knows this young man by name. In fact, I told him that God knows every hair on your head.

He said that he wanted to know more and that Christianity seemed like a set of rules and not as a relationship. At this point, Stephen popped in and asked him if he liked to read. He said that he would be on another 1.5 hour flight after this one. He handed him Ravi Zacharias’s book “Can Man Live without God?” He promised to read it. Before we landed, the three of us held hands and prayed for this sweet young man who was hurt and seeking truth. It was such a joy to be a part of what God is doing all around us. I also have to add a note here: God will use you in a way that is best fitted to you! He will give you the words to share through His Holy Spirit – do not worry. He is the author and perfecter of our faith.

fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ~Hebrews 12:2

Next time you fly, why don’t you ask for a middle seat? You never know which one of His children God will place beside you.

Unity out of Diversity ~ God’s Way

On By Mona SabahIn cultural diversity, culture, Diversity, Human Resources, Jesus Christ, Management, Public Speaking, Teaching

 

Last week, I talked about how diversity is looked at here in the United States. I think in order to understand the Unity piece of it, we need to go to the beginning. The VERY beginning, namely, Genesis. My husband and I were guests at the Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM) Founder’s Weekend Conference the past four days and author, apologist Amy Orr-Ewing spoke on the very topic. She stated that when God put forth the heavens and the earth in Genesis, He worked in pairs. He made the Heavens & the Earth, Darkness & Light, Day & Night, Land & Sea, the greater light to govern the day & the lesser light to govern the night, and finally, male & female (see Genesis 1). There is a natural pairing that God does, yet He makes them complementary. Just as the sun lights the day, the moon offers a gentle light at night. Even though they are different, they work together as one.

If you have a significant other, you can further see the diverse nature of man and woman in a relationship. When married, these differences can either make the marriage or break it. So diverse are we in our gender. Take for instance, the difference between my husband and I when it comes to packing for a trip. We used to take one suitcase when we were newlyweds (how stupid can you get?). Now, after 22 years of marriage, we take our own. It’s just better that way. It takes me at least a day or two to pack and even then I don’t feel like I bring enough stuff. I am constantly saying “Oh, I wish I would’ve packed XYZ.” There’s nothing like that for him. It takes him under one hour to pack and he’s good. We have a different way of looking at just about everything – from relationships, to child-rearing, communication, work, weather, and of course, maps & following directions.

Yet, there is something special about the way we work together. It is truly wonderful. One of the greatest blessings is when we end up with the same thoughts on things of importance. We tend to have the same values on religion (God has helped us in an amazing way), family (we had to learn more about each other here), and also how to use logical thought for problem solving. These are things add meaning to our marriage and help us to become one. The most important thing in our marriage, however, was to stop focusing on each other and instead to focus on God.

I think that is also the secret to understanding diversity – whether it’s in marriage or at work. If you focus on what God has designed and look at people for what gifts God has given them, you gain a fresh perspective that is tinged with excitement. I love asking people about what spiritual gifts they have. If you are a believer in Christ, the Holy Spirit has given YOU a gift. If you don’t know what it is, there are many spiritual gifts inventories you can take (try this one here)!

There is diversity in the way that God has made us and He did that because He can – what a glorious creativity! As we walked through the airport, I marveled at all the different types of people I walked past just in the terminal. So many features, skin color, backgrounds… it’s not boring to people-watch. Christ unites us, while the world tries to divide. The world wants to divide into categories: rich, poor, slave, master, Jew or Gentile.

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28

Yet, when He looks at us and calls us, He tells us to keep the unity of the Spirit. One body, One Spirit, One Hope, One Lord, One Faith, One Baptism, One God and the Father of all. This is true unity and only through that unity, do we keep the bond of PEACE. That bond of peace only comes through the Holy Spirit and the Prince of Peace, Lord Jesus. Amen.

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. Ephesians 4:3-6

Unity out of Diversity

On By Mona SabahIn Family, Human Resources, Management, Public Speaking, Teaching, Testimony, Training

 

I have taught at several universities in California and Oklahoma over the last 18 years. Many times, I teach Cultural Diversity. Of course, there are trends, like women in the workplace or hot topics like the SONY Executive e-mails that made racist comments, but still, we continue to tackle the same issues over and over.

Many people don’t know that the term ” University” means  “Unity out of Diversity.” (Uni= one Versity= groupings). Diversity has the similar word base, but in this case, the “Di” stands for division or separation. So in technical terms, diversity is actually about looking at groups separately. It’s good to start with word origins because we get confused sometimes when discussing terms that have an emotional charge associated with them.  When you look at how the dictionary defines Diversity, you end up with more of a normative definition – how we have changed the term to represent it for our culture and needs today.

Diversity: the quality or state of having many different forms, types, ideas, etc.

: the state of having people who are different races or who have different cultures in a group or organization

When I work with businesses on developing a Diversity program or initiative, there’s almost a panic – what if we aren’t doing this right or worse, what if we leave something out? I guess I come from a totally different (dare I say “diverse?”) point of view. Having been raised in six countries gives me some insight to the United States. In Saudi Arabia and the Middle East, you mainly see one type of people – Arabs. Now, granted, there are ex-pat communities, but they tend to live separately and not really join the mainstream public. In Pakistan, it’s homogeneous – everyone looked the same. The only other group I saw was the Chinese and even then it was because they owned the Chinese restaurant we were dining at.

So, coming to the United States was a it of a culture shock (to say the least). There were different people everywhere. It didn’t help that we came to New York City first. Talk about diverse! Moving to California was no different – lots of people from all different backgrounds. In fact, it was very easy for us to find a tight knit Muslim community and settle in nicely. There were many here that spoke the language as well, so it was a small piece of home.

I think as Americans, we don’t stop to admire what this country offers us – a vast variety of groups that don’t have to give up their unique identity, but are able to function as a whole, My family and I never felt any pressure to be Americanized or to take on something we were not comfortable with. Now, that doesn’t mean that we didn’t face discrimination. Moving to the US was the first time I felt discriminated against, but it wasn’t for what you might think. I was in the fifth grade and no one would play with me. No one. When I finally got the courage up after almost two months of having no friends, to ask a girl who seemed remotely kind (=she didn’t say “eew, get away”) , she acted like she didn’t want to tell me. I then started crying and said that I had no friends. She was embarrassed, but was kind enough to tell me it was because I smelled bad. She even told me that maybe I should wear deodorant. When you cook with curry at home, you have to put the spices into hot oil so they develop their flavor. With long hair, that absorbs the aromas and some oil along with it, I am sure I smelled like what we cooked – and still do at times, but take a shower and wear some good deodorant now!

Trying to teach diversity from an immigrant’s eyes has a value. I think that I bring a little appreciation for what we have in the United States. In fact, on our money, it says “E Pluribus Unum”- out of many, one. I believe that is the strongest way to address diversity and the importance Americans place on the value of differing opinions, backgrounds and cultures.

Leap of Faith

On By Mona SabahIn Human Resources, Jesus Christ, Management, Public Speaking, Teaching, Training

 

It’s not easy to be this person above in the picture who is suspended in mid-air, wondering if they’re going to make it to the other side or if the other side is even more unstable than the one he just left. YET, there’s something compelling about it. Maybe it’s the fact that they did decide to jump in the first place. Then, the reason behind it comes to mind… why did they do it?

We all have had tough choices to make in life. Should I? Shouldn’t I? In fact, today was one of those decision days. Nothing seemed stable for me today. My mind was in a whirl. When those days come, I almost go into a “cocoon mode,” where I want to turn in on myself and not even deal with what is going on around me. Those decisions can just wait, I tell myself. I am not ready to come to make a choice.

In organizations and business, this is the same practice. Business needs change on a daily basis. You might be reading this blog on your iPad or iPhone. The operating system on that device may have recently changed or even the latest version may have come out. Change is inevitable in any situation – work, home, school, life. HOW one deals with these situations is what makes a difference.

Taking a leap of faith is not just a religious term but is something we do on a daily basis. When I googled “Leap of Faith,” the term came up as something the philosopher Kierkegaard came up with. In fact the way he addressed the topic was almost as a leap from one thing to another.  The bottom line for a Christian, however, is what would you leap towards? If it indeed is Faith, what is that Faith placed in? Is it your paycheck? Is it gaining an education? Is it Christ? I am not asking questions in a rhetorical manner. In fact, I will be very honest here. My faith and leap goes to money first, even though on my money it says blatantly “In God We Trust.” Not so much sometimes! I have to pray every morning that my decisions are not based on my desires (for me,  money translates to security – albeit FALSE security), but instead are based upon what God wants me to pursue for His glory. It’s a daily struggle.

When I do happen to take that leap of faith into Christ’s will, however, I find that He always had a better plan in mind for me than what my limited mind could concoct. His plans usually impact others in a better way as well. So when you are faced with decisions to make or changes to contemplate in your life, I pray that you will STOP.

Stop running through scenarios – especially negative ones.

Take a deep breath.

Obedience to God shows our love for Him (1 John 5:2-3)

Pray for God to lead you and for Him to grant you the courage to put the worldly cares aside and seek only His kingdom first.

When you do that, you will find that the peace that passes all understanding will wash over you.

~For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. ~ Isaiah 55:8

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.~ Philippians 4:6-7

Take my Time

On By Mona SabahIn Human Resources, Jesus Christ, Management, Public Speaking, Teaching, Testimony, Uncategorized

 

I had the opportunity to teach Cultural Intelligence to a group of employees in Oklahoma City last week. The course focuses not just on Diversity in the workplace but on how to actually increase your intelligence level (like IQ) about Cultures. It’s an interesting concept and books have been written on the topic to show how you can actually measure this.

There are many differences between the Eastern and Western cultures, including perceptions of beauty, values, ethics, family and of course, language. One aspect that some don’t think about is TIME. One trip to my parents’ home and you will see the difference between the West and East. On the weekend, we are not ruled by the clock and never really were. We woke up when we did (usually around 9-ish or 10), rolled into the kitchen to make a pot of tea and no one ate until they had a cup of tea. Breakfast preparations began around 10 and we ate somewhere around 10:30 or 11. Lunch maybe happened or didn’t happen. If we had lunch, it was later in the afternoon. Dinner was yet entirely another story and almost a 2-3 hour event on its own.

When my poor American husband first came to my parents’ home, he woke up at his usual time of about 6:00 am. Why? I still don’t know why, other than he is an early riser by habit. He twiddled his thumbs until about 8:00, when he couldn’t stand it anymore and woke me up because he was starving. He decided to go and grab something to eat by himself and then he had to wait another 2 hours before anyone else got up. He was not too happy to have to sit and wait.

Breakfast, when it finally was served, was delicious but then he had the same experience trying to figure out if we were all having lunch or not. He decided to get in the car and go grab a bite to eat, since it looked like no one was interested. It was a good thing he did that, since dinner didn’t show up until almost 8:00 pm.  Dinner preparations can also take hours at times. It just depends on what’s cooking, but many Pakistani dishes need to simmer on a low heat for hours. My dad laughingly told us once that it was this way because the village women could “look busy” cooking but sit around chatting away most of the day.

Even on the weekends, things are not always this relaxed in the West. Most families have things scheduled out to the hour even on a Sunday. It was tough getting used to that pace of life when we moved here as immigrants. In addition, people here talk about time as a commodity – “It was a waste of my time” or “What’s my time worth to you?” Time definitely has a cost associated with it, especially in terms of the workplace. There is a phenomenon that the Wall Street Journal addressed a few years ago called “Time Theft.” Yes, that’s right. You can actually steal your employer’s time by fiddling with texts, phone or internet.

It’s interesting then as a Christian to go to the Bible and see what it has to say on the subject of time, for God operates beyond time and space as we know it. 2 Peter 3:8 says “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day” It’s so difficult to comprehend what this is like when we cannot see past the end of the day, the week or even the month. To think of things in terms of eternity is even more unfathomable. The Psalmist writes “Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere…” Psalm 84:10 When I think of this, it’s still hard to put it in perspective but when you ponder the fact that all things are created by God and for God, then even your own time comes into it.

How difficult it is to set aside one hour for someone? What about giving up half a day or a whole day to help someone else? Even though I was raised with an Eastern mentality about time, I lived in the West. I realized a few years ago that time ruled my day. I was running from appointment to appointment and the weekend didn’t change that for me. It wasn’t until I realized that all things belong to God and the thing we hold onto most dearly is what would be the most sacrificial offering. So every morning, I started praying something very scary… “Lord, my day is yours and my time is yours. Help me to glorify you in all I do today.”

Guess what?

He did. He took my time and showed me things that I wouldn’t have normally stopped to see. He showed me opportunities to slow down and speak with people I would have normally passed by. He opened up my heart to those who may have needed a kind word, smile or even help during each day. I don’t want to tell you that this was awesome because at first, it wasn’t. It was ANNOYING. I ended up having to re-plan my day or stay later after training to speak to someone or even pray with someone who was hurting. After just a little while of giving up my time to the Lord, I realized that I was blessed. I was blessed because I was being obedient to His will and to the things that mattered in terms of eternity with Him.

It’s scary, but it’s a different adventure each day with Christ.

So we can pray (words from a Jeremy Camp song):

Take my life take my mind
Take my soul take my will
I am yours now, and I give it all to you.

… that means your time as well.