The following excerpt is from “Half in Islam, Whole in Jesus – A Woman’s Worth” by Mona Sabah. I hope you will enjoy reading why I wrote this important book, published in January 2020.
As a Sunni Muslim woman, I was neither subjugated or oppressed. I never felt like I was forced to live below the standard of society by my family or community (and I lived the first part of my life in several Islamic countries). I realize now that I was pampered, sheltered and kept relatively uninformed about the deeper matters of faith. My parents were highly educated and only had daughters– no sons to take on the banner of Islam in the household or to carry on the family’s name. My mother blazed new trails as a practicing physician. Both my father and mother raised us like boys in regard to having access to education, and we were given more freedoms than other women I knew. We could talk loudly (not rudely), be outgoing and we were unafraid of social constraints. We were pushed and encouraged to pursue an American University education and graduate degrees, which we obtained. We were raised with the freedom to have a western, independent mindset. From my background, it’s easy to see that I did not have what the West would consider to be a traditional Muslim upbringing – not in the least.
Even though my parents tried their best to not have a dividing line between privileges set aside for men versus women, as I grew up, I became aware of society’s standards in Muslim countries. My first memory of realizing there were different rules for boys and girls in Islam was in Saudi Arabia. Our family was invited to a huge wedding party at a venue. All of us entered the festive locale together and the women were shown by the attendants to a separate room, while the men made their way to another. Being little, I secretly hung on tight to my father’s traditional white Saudi robes and quietly disappeared with him to the men’s area. The men noticed the shy, four-year-old interloper immediately, but all had smiles, were kind and cordial. I don’t think my father even realized that I had sneaked in behind him. The room was full of men of all ages. They were drinking hot tea from elaborately carved, long spouted brass and glass Arab teapots and of course, there was an enormous quantity of food laid out on engraved brass platters on low tables or on the carpets before them. The food kept coming as some of the men asked my father politely to get me out of there and back into the women’s area. I was confused because in our home, there was no separation of sexes – even when we entertained in a large group. I was brought to the women’s area and was dropped off at the door so that the maid in attendance could take me in. My mother laughed because she knew I had run off to be with my father. There were no repercussions, just a quiet delineation of the fact that Muslim men and women do not gather together in social settings.
This separation was new to me and as the days passed, my awareness of the divide became more developed. When venturing outside the home, most women had a mahram (guardian – more on that in later chapters) and did not drive an automobile or travel on their own. Suddenly, life began to look a little bit different for this safely secluded little Muslim girl. I noticed for the first time that women were veiled outside the home. This might seem as a ridiculous observation to some, but children are kept indoors most of the time. The weather is blazing hot in the Middle East and the entertainment is usually kept within one another’s homes. Our upstairs neighbors were Fatin and Busaina. They were two women who were kind, gentle, full of laugher, generous with their love and affection. Our families had relative freedom in going from one apartment to the other daily. I loved to visit them often because they had lots of snacks and they kept parrots!
I enjoy reminiscing and speaking about my life in the East, especially with my American audiences. There is something very exotic about a culture that tends to keep to itself. There is a built-in curiosity about the women who are veiled and “wear their religion on the outside” in their demeanor and dress. My experience growing into adulthood in the United States as a Muslim woman was different than what others have experienced. It is my desire to help the reader understand some common belief systems that exist in Islam, while trying to not make too many broad-brushed statements about every Muslim having the same set of values or assumptions.
Islam is not a monolithic religion. Those in the West have different views than the Easterners. Muslims born in the United States have different views than their immigrant parents. To add to the complexity, cultural influences have crept into how Muslims view Islam and how traditions are practiced. For example, I see things differently in the customs of marriage and family than my friends from Bangladesh or friends from Syria. However, there are general, underlying beliefs and principles many Muslims follow.
It is easy to get confused when discussing Islamic principles. Even Muslims can have ambiguity on whether a topic is from the Quran or from a tradition (Sunnah or Hadith) or are they cultural restraints being placed upon the Muslims who live in a particular country. These differences also extend to whether or not the Muslim person is a Sunni or a Shia. Even the Hadith are different for these two groups! These ambiguities can become intermingled with life, tradition, culture and religion. In my writing, I want to present what most Muslims in my own family and community believed. A common statement Muslims make is that the low value placed upon women could be due to the society and not due to Islam.
Our set of beliefs as a family are usually held by Southeastern Asian Muslims. Those from the Middle East or Africa may not know or understand where I am coming from due to their own traditions in culture. For this reason, it is important to define the background perspective used by the author. I was born in the Middle East and was raised there, along with years of schooling received in Pakistan. I moved to the United States as an immigrant when I was ten years old. My view of Islam is unique because I have both eastern and western eyes and I am blessed because I can walk the boundary line between these two cultures and religions. In 2007, I was saved by Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. I appreciate the ability God gave me to view Islam through my own Muslim experience of thirty-five years (well into adulthood) and to reflect upon it now with an understanding of who Jesus Christ is in my life. This is not something I take for granted and I know that the Lord has placed me in a unique position to share it with others. He created me for this purpose – to educate and equip others to learn about Islam from someone who has firsthand knowledge of it and has lived in several Muslim countries. May my perspectives and experience help the reader to understand and bridge differences between cultures and beliefs. The Bible reiterates this truth in my life in Ephesians 2:10 – “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them (ESV).”
The main purpose of writing this book is to answer frequently asked questions about the hidden life of Muslim women. My American friends have many questions about the women who live behind the veil of Islam. The book is intended for Christians, however if any of my Muslim sisters are reading this, I welcome you to reach out to me personally so we can discuss these topics openly and honestly.
When the book was still in the conceptual phase, I was asked to write about women in the Quran. Since only Mary, mother of Jesus, is mentioned in the Quran it would have been a more thorough approach to research women in Islam as a whole. To this end, I wanted to compare and contrast Christianity and Islam through the main figures that represent each religion – Christ and Muhammad. Over the years, Muslims have argued with me that Muhammad does not represent Islam. That may be their stance, but it is the perception of many in the West that all of Islam hinges upon Muhammad. He is also mentioned in the shahada, the Muslim profession of faith or creed of Islam. Every Muslim testifies the Shahada in Arabic that “There is no God but Allah, and Muhammad is his messenger.” For this reason, he is inseparable, especially in this discussion of women. The first part of this book will discuss Muhammad and Islam. Throughout the book, I tried to not misrepresent the Quran or the Hadith. there may be long passages presented so they are not taken out of context. There is nothing more irritating to me as a Christian when others take one line out of the Bible and try to use it out of context without supporting Scripture.
The later part of this book focuses on Jesus and His interactions with women. Since Jesus was never married, there are no wives to discuss. In the same chapter, I wanted to digress a little to discuss Eve, since she was addressed in the Islam section and I also think she is an interesting figure to many women, in Islam and Christianity.
