My ABBA on Father’s Day

Mona with Abba

My grandfather on my mom’s side was a very quiet and patient man. I knew this as a fact from a very young age. His unassuming presence was always shadowed by my grandmother who talked a lot and talked over others. I knew that my Abba (our name for our grandfather in Urdu) was there as a place where we, as little children, could run to. He would pick us up or just quietly sit with us as he watched everything and everyone around us.

Even though he was in the periphery, he had a sharp eye. Many times, it seemed like he knew more about what was going on in the family than anyone else. I think it was his ability to take it all in and process not only what was being said, but more importantly, what was not being said.

After my Appa (grandmother) passed away, Abba came to live with my parents. You couldn’t tell he was in the house, except for his gardening tools and his love for croissants (he would call them “cross nuts” in his Urdu accent). I was blessed to spend time with him and to get to know more about his life. He was a pharmacist, who made all his medications at his compound pharmacy (the only pharmacy in town) in Peshawar, Pakistan. He told me sweet stories about how he would walk to school as a young man and he would take food in his pockets for the birds he saw on the way (I know that’s where I get my love for birds!). One bird in particular caught his attention and he ended up following Abba home. It was a pheasant with beautiful plumage and he slept at the foot of his bed.

As I grew up and moved away, one evening I drove from college to speak with my parents about getting married to an American boy. The conversation did not go well. Before I dashed away, I went to my Abba’s bedroom in tears and told him that I was getting married against my parents’ will but that I wanted him to know what was going on.

In the tumultuous weeks that followed my “Declaration of Independence” from my parents, I found out that my Abba was the voice of reason in the home. Being the elder, he was able to plead my case with my parents. I was guilty of treason but he still asked for clemency.

Even though there was tension in the family with the marriage outside the culture and religion, they relented. We were able to come to an agreement and had two weddings- a Muslim & a Christian wedding.

I became a Christian much later in life (when I was 35 years old). When I first read the Lord’s Prayer in the Bible (Matthew 6:9-13), the first word startled me! It was Jesus Christ Himself asking his disciples to pray by addressing the God of the Universe as “Abba.”
The photo above shows how I have felt all my life about my Abba. Even at a picnic, he gave me shelter under an umbrella. He was kind, patient and loving. He was my advocate and he cared for me.

If an earthly grandfather can be like that, how much more will our Heavenly Father care for His children? I’m grateful for my childhood memories of my Abba. However, I am eternally secure in the knowledge that God the Father is the true Abba —our rock and our redeemer. If you do not have knowledge of who God is, as revealed in the person of Jesus Christ, please comment and let me introduce you to the One who has given me a new life in Christ. It is He who I honor this Father’s Day and every day.
Lord Jesus, May it be so. Amen.

Father’s Day

dadandI
My father and me in Murree, Pakistan

Father’s Day is a reminder to us to go back and think of our earthly father who has influenced us over the course of our life. My father has been a generous source of caring and love. I have photos of him carrying his daughters around and you can see his giant grin that goes from ear to ear. He is the kind of father that is ready with a hilarious joke, a well-told story or the loving kindness in his smile – even for strangers.

Over the years, I have come to the realization that some don’t have a warm, fuzzy recollection of our father. For some, that person was just a “donor” and left soon after they were born. Others never knew an earthly father who raised them up.

We live in a broken, messed up world. There are painful stories people have shared with me that have brought me to tears, listening to the cruelty and heartbreak of an uncaring, missing father. Some of these personal stories have left me wondering how does this person carry on with their life or even more than that – how do they have a role model to follow?

Not only did I have my father who raised me up, but we had the additional blessing of having our maternal grandparents who lived with us for several years. My grandfather (lovingly called “Abba”) was also kind, caring and ready to sit with you. He wanted to be involved in your life and was genuine in his affection.  He was quiet in his manners and demeanor but made you feel special even when you sat next to him. He had all the time in the world to spend with you.

When I became a Christian, imagine my surprise at reading about how Jesus taught his disciples to pray in Matthew 6: “Our Father in heaven,  hallowed be your name…” He told them to call God their Father. It even got more strange for me, because I was told the Aramaic (what Jesus spoke to his disciples) – “Abba.”  I about flipped out of my chair that Sunday morning! Abba was my grandfather – my grandpa. Abba was not God Almighty’s name!

As a Muslim, I was taught that God was way up high in the heavens and that he was indifferent to us unless it was during the time of prayer. You see, as  a Muslim, you have to have an appointment to truly talk to God. Even then, you aren’t really “talking” to him as an equal. You are bringing in your petition like a slave does to a king. You bow down low (literally the case during prayer) and then you say certain verses in Arabic. You don’t just plop down on the couch and chit chat with God (YIKES! Blasphemous!) but you approach His throne (see another post I wrote on this here: MY Dad’s Chair) carefully so you don’t cause offense.

There is no relationship with God. That is just a ridiculous notion to a Muslim. When I heard someone praying and calling God Almighty her “Daddy,” I freaked out then also. I did not realize that Jesus had given us the model to pray. We truly DO have the freedom to call Him our Father in Heaven, as well as “Abba.” He is just that close to us in a true relationship.

What a mind-blowing revelation to me! Yet, many Christians take this fact as nothing special. When we realize that we have officially been adopted into the Kingdom of the LORD God Almighty – creator of Heavens and earth, we should be shaking in our shoes. Instead, He welcomes us into an embrace – He runs to us (Prodigal Son parable – see Luke 15:20) with joy and His arms open wide!

On Father’s Day today, if you have a crummy earthly father, don’t give up hope. If you have a missing earthly father, don’t give up looking. If you have a wonderful earthly father, give God praise. For all of us, remember that we have a PERFECT Heavenly Father who is waiting for us very patiently to return to Him so He will run to us, embrace us, and call us His child.  What a wonderful God, Redeemer and Savior we have! Amen.